Seven ways to spot a frenemy in your life instantly.

Friend+ enemy = ‘Frenemy’

Yes, I am talking about frenemies around us. These are people who pretend to be our great friends but deep down they are envious of us. The reason for their anger, resentment, and jealousy could be anything: your good reputation or personality, they may be jealous that you may have caring people in your life, or maybe envious of your luscious hair, etc.

But just like romantic relationships, friendships can be toxic, annoying, or harmful. The problem is: identifying if you have one or two or many in your life is equally important as getting rid of them. Unfortunately, spotting a frenemy isn’t always easy. They can be very close to you, and it can even seem like they truly have good intentions about your well-being if you don’t analyze the things they do and say critically.

The truth is they can fill your life with poison, as your happiness causes them pain. Here are some very important signs to look for.

1. They talk about you a lot

Yes, you hold a very significant place in their life, and they can’t stop themselves from thinking and talking about you (behind your back). The reason is obvious. They’re angry with you over something but they can’t tell you on your face because they don’t have the guts. They have shattered self-esteem and they cope with this by bad-mouthing you and spreading all the negative things and rumors about you. Real friends don’t hesitate from pointing your mistakes on your face, only haters do this.

2. They take more than they give

Lending support to someone you call your friend is a normal thing, but it can be dangerous when it is always one-sided. You pay for the movies. You help them with their groceries. You drop their kids at school. You share your Netflix account, clothes, etc., etc. (they don’t have a concept that things in your life don’t belong to them). If these signs are already in front of you, there could be a serious problem. They are taking advantage of your hospitality and abusing it. This frenemy in your life doesn’t seem to have a concept that friendship is when no one gets more out of the relationship; because it is an equal relationship.

3. They like unnecessary drama

Every relationship has their ups and down, but frenemies can be overly dramatic and enjoy conflicts. Their dramatic behavior drains your energy. They’ll constantly seek your empathy so that they can mess with your head. These people thrive on relationships that are always in ‘Crisis mode’. They become stressed out when they see there’s nothing going wrong in their life.

4. They humiliate you

A very defining characteristic of a frenemy is that they pass off cruel criticism and sarcastic comments publicly as helpful advice. Their intention is to provoke feelings of hurt and pain in you. For example, they might repeat the same events and mistakes you made in the past because it made you feel embarrassed. They bring it up again and again because seeing you in pain soothes their soul.

5. They don’t mind taking what you want

They are jealous of you and they can literally do anything to ruin your life. They are eager to take whatever makes you happy. Inside their little world, they don’t want to see you enjoying all the nice things. Their purpose is to snatch your happiness away secretly. They often try to manipulate you so that you will make bad and unhealthy choices for yourself. In fact, they’ll encourage you to get into things that will lead you to trouble.

6. They hate on your accomplishments

Researches claim that friendships have a huge impact on our overall well-being. A good friend will show genuine happiness when things go well in your life. Well, you can’t expect that when you have frenemies in your life.

They’ll over you’re their biggest smile when you tell them ‘you are engaged or got that promotion, but that smile quickly fades away. They don’t show up for celebrations and become moody for some time. What is more, they’ll start discussing their own hardships so that they can distract you from enjoying your achievements.

7. Their company just makes you feel bad

Trust your intuition because it never lies. If they always put you down, if hanging out with them dreads you, this is the sign that you should cut them off completely from your life. It’s expected that you might go through a grieving process, but that’s OK. In fact, healing is not possible without grieving and confronting our fears.

– Rich

Author Bio

Rich E. Shaw is an American author, inventor, educator, business analysis, and philanthropist. His bestselling book, ‘Habits of the highly effective entrepreneur’ is all about what modern entrepreneurs need to know to succeed. He is of the belief that businesses don’t happen in a hit-or-miss or lazy fashion. For him, the most important factor that defines success or failure is what you do every day. This book is being written with the intention to aspire talented minds to adopt strategies that help them to stay a cut above the rest. You can learn more about Rich E. Shaw at https://rich-shaw.com/.