The real reason you should use forgive and forget strategy.

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– Richard E Shaw (Contributing Author: Rich-Shaw.com)

We’ve all heard it since childhood we should learn to forgive people who wrong us. Just let it go and move on. Even the scriptures of the Bible says, ‘A man reaps what he sows. All of these phrases are familiar to us. But what do they really mean? Sure, forgiving others for their mistakes sounds nice, but what if you’re not ready for it? What if you see these people living an unapologetic life and your whole existence is shattered to the core.

Forgiving is easier said than done. Sometimes the scars are deep, such as when the person you love the most or a parent betrays your trust, or they played with our emotions, or when we are bullied, or when we survived rape or abuse.

The most effective medicine that helps us to heal is forgiveness. Here are some very important points that will convince you to forgive and forget what holds you from being yourself again.

1. It is essential for our emotional well-being

Anyone who suffered deep hurt knows how the trauma badly disrupts their world. When we hold on to the pain, we’re actually blocking the process of healing and let all the anger and bitterness impact us. People become distracted, impatient, aggressive, irritable, and physically ill. The next time you think forgiveness is a relief for others, just know that it’s all about us, not them. We chose to forgive because the damaging emotions inside us eat us and the best thing we can do is to get rid of them. It’s not a justice problem, it’s a heart problem.

2. This is how we learn

We may not even realize how bad is the feeling until we decide to kick it off of your mind. And then learning happens. We learn about ourselves, what pushes our buttons, things we are sensitive about, our insecurities, and how we handle situations when we get hurt by people we care about. With this new knowledge about ourselves and others, we’re better prepared to navigate through the world, make future relationships cautiously, and set our boundaries.

3. Find meaning in the pain

When we face a tragedy, it becomes critically important for us to make sense of what we’ve endured. Without realizing it, you won’t learn anything instead; you will be pushed to a state of despair and hopelessness. Finding the real meaning behind suffering doesn’t mean you have to look for suffering or find goodness in someone’s poor attitude. It simply means you use that suffering as a source to change yourself in a positive way.

4. You feel brave

Forgiving someone who tells lies on our face or uses our own insecurities against us is not for the faint of hearts. But people who chose to let go of a long-held grudge will definitely feel lighter and strengthened. A 2017 study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology found out that being a forgiving person improves emotional well-being but also allows people to overcome life challenges. Forgivers perceive the world as less negative and perform better when challenged with physical tasks.

5. It makes you a better person

When you chose to forgive a person who talks badly behind your back or a person who always tried to create a bad image of yours in front of others, you’re actually improving your inner world and restoring your inner peace. They wronged you, cheated you, betrayed you, so they are the bad ones, not you. Forgiveness is what makes you different from them. In fact, forgiving others proves that you love yourself. It is a form of self-care.

6. It strengthens your compassion

Forgiveness makes you make empathetic. People who practice it stop holding people captive to their deficiencies. As we forgive people and see them as fellow humans, we strengthen our kindness towards others. Remember we are all humans and we can also make mistakes unintentionally and sometimes unintentionally.

7. Forces you to call upon your strength

As I say forgiving the ones who treated you like rubbish is hard sometimes. If you’re facing a hard time doing it, it doesn’t mean you have a cold heart. It simply means you need some to accept the realities. Try to be gentle with yourself and practice humility.

Author Bio

Richard E Shaw is an American author, inventor, passionate educator, business analyst, and humanitarian. His bestselling book, ‘PASSIONAIRE- Building Wealth Inside Out’ will remind you why believing in yourself is necessary to achieve something extraordinary in life. The chapters of the book specifically talk about the inside-out wealth which is beyond money and fame. It is also about things money can’t buy such as finding the true purpose of life, healthy relationships, overcoming fear, and achieving peace of mind. Things he loves doing when he’s not working include socializing with like-minded people and enjoying his favorite Starbucks latte.